WEBVTT

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Resilience, servicing
victims of domestic violence.

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Hi.

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I'm Ava Smith.

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I'm a psychology major and a
senior here at Mount Holyoke.

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And I'll be talking to
you guys about my time

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at a domestic violence shelter.

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First, though, I
just want to talk

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about the link of
UAF topics because I

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know that it can be kind
of overwhelming to know

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where to start.

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But getting money for
an unpaid internship

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is really awful, especially
because you need money

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to live during the summer.

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So basically, all you have
to do is just go on to ISIS,

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and you click on that
link, UAF and link thing.

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And then there are three steps,
and they're really specific.

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So all you have to do is just
click on step one and start.

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And it's kind of a
long process, so you

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want to start at the beginning
of the spring semester.

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So as I said, I worked at a
domestic violence shelter.

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And first, I'm just
going to give you

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an overview about kind of my
background in domestic violence

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and what it is and then
what the organization was

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that I was a part of and my
role and then the challenges

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I faced and I gained
from the experience.

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So first, domestic violence
is kind of like behaviors

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that are meant to control or
have power over somebody else.

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And you can do that
in a variety of ways,

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for example, verbal abuse,
sexual abuse, emotional abuse,

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physical abuse--

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financial abuse.

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These are just some
of the big ones.

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And who is vulnerable?

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I think there's this assumption
that only certain groups

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of people are vulnerable
to domestic violence,

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and that's really not true.

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It's not just people that are
underprivileged or struggling

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with poverty.

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It's really
everybody, regardless

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of socioeconomic status
or race or gender.

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And just to give you some sort
of sense, one in four women

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struggled from some sort
of domestic violence issue

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in their lifetime.

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And this is really
under-reported

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because people don't want
to report their loved ones,

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even if they may have
harmed them in some way.

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And then I just want to talk
about why people stay because I

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think it's hard for people
to understand that have never

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been in this situation why
somebody would put themselves

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in a position that hurts them.

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And there are a lot
of different reasons,

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for example, financial.

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So maybe your abuser has
the house and has the job,

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and you don't want to
be living on the street.

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There's also love.

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These relationships
are really complicated,

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and they start with love.

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And maybe you fall in
love with somebody,

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and then the abuse
starts to happen.

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So it's hard to kind of
be realistic and rational

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about those situations.

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Children-- a lot
of times, people

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want to be in a family
that's not broken.

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They want a father
for their children.

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And especially if their abuser
is not harmful to their child

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and they're a good parent,
it's hard to want to leave

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that because it seems selfish.

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And then safety-- a lot of
times, when people leave,

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the abuse gets worse.

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And it's really
scary, and some people

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are worried they're
going to get killed.

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And then hope-- there's
always this hope that things

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are going to get better
and all of the above.

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So all of these things are
kind of working together,

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and it's a really
complicated situation.

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So I went to Harriet
Tubman Crisis Center,

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which is a place in
Minnesota that really works

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with the community to kind of
support women, families, men

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that are suffering from domestic
violence situations in kind

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of a holistic way.

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So we have legal
services-- for example,

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if somebody wants an
order for protection

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or needs help with
their divorce.

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Psychological services,
because a lot of times,

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mental health works
kind of hand in hand

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with these types
of experiences--

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chemical dependency
support, support groups.

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We get a lot of
donations, so each shelter

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has kind of this consignment
store for free clothes

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and things like that, if
you want a job interview

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outfit and things like that.

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And then, of course, we
have two shelters which

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house about 70 to 80 people.

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So I was a youth and
family advocate at Tubman,

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and I did a variety of things.

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I had a lot of
responsibilities, some of which

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included intake-- so when
people come into shelter

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and kind of fill out forms
about their safety needs,

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what goals they want to focus
on in shelter, resources

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that we could give
them to support them.

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I also met with
them twice a week

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to see how their goals
are going, whether they

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need any more services--

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how they're doing in
shelter because it's kind

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of a difficult place to be.

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I also ran a healthy
relationships group,

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so I came up with
topics for the group,

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such as stress management, grief
counseling, things like that,

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and talked with the
women about those things.

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I managed shelter conflict.

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Being in such a
small space that's

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a communal living place--

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and so your kids
are running around,

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you're living with other
people, and everybody's

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in this crisis mode.

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Everyone's really stressed out.

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A lot of them have
mental health issues,

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and so this type of thing
kind of fosters conflict.

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And so we had to work with
each of the clients on that.

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I also attended and
presented at staff meetings.

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We talked a lot about
residents and resources

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that we didn't know
of that we could

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use to support them
because a lot of them

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have a lot of obstacles.

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And then I answered
the crisis line,

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which is where people call if
they need services or shelter.

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Challenges-- I had to
learn really quickly.

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You're kind of thrown
in this environment,

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and you don't really know
anything, especially about,

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for example, how someone would
receive unemployment benefits.

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I know nothing about
that, and this is mainly

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what people wanted from me
is that type of information

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because they didn't
really know, either.

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And so my supervisor left
for two weeks on vacation

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while I was at the
beginning of my time there.

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And so obviously, someone
filled in for her,

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but she was also really young
and didn't know everything.

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And so we were kind of
working hand in hand about,

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how do we support these women
when we don't necessarily

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know as much information
as we would like to know?

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And we had meet
with all of them.

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We had to document
all the times we met.

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It was very overwhelming.

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And so it was really
important for me

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to talk with the rest
of the advocates that

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were at the shelter to kind of
get their take on everything.

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And then you're working
in constant crisis,

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and so you're kind of
emotionally involved

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with these women
who are in crisis.

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And that kind of gets you
into that crisis mode, too.

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So it's important to focus
on your own mental health.

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I also just got attached.

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It's really emotional work, and
you're working really closely

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with these women and families.

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And they're all in really
difficult situations,

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and so it's hard to kind of
separate yourself from that.

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And a lot of times,
people aren't

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ready to change in the
way that you want them to.

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And so you're giving them a
lot of support and resources,

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but they may not act on that.

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Or they may go back
to their abusers

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because it's really overwhelming
to have to start from scratch.

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And so sometimes, people
aren't ready to do that.

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But you're emotionally
attached to their happiness,

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and so to see them
leave is really hard.

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So how did I grow?

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I gained a lot confidence.

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When I first got there,
I was kind of worried

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that I wouldn't really have
anything to offer them.

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I've never been in
this experience.

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What could I give them that
would help them in any way?

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But I realized as I was there
that I really was an asset,

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and it helped
boost my confidence

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and helped me realize that
I am powerful in my own way.

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And then really, the importance
of collaborative work

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in this type of
environment is so crucial.

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And so being able to work with
everybody and kind of talk

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to them about all the
things that are going on

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with the people that
I'm working with

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was so important,
especially when

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these women have multiple
obstacles in their way.

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And so a lot of times, it takes
a lot of strategic thinking

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and a lot of collaborative
work to help them with that.

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And then I'm a
psychology student,

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so I found kind of this new
interest in trauma and kind

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of the ways that
that impacts people.

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And then also, it
reiterated my desire

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to focus on mental
health because I

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wasn't necessarily focusing
on their mental health issues.

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I was focusing
more on how to get

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them housing, how to get them
benefits, things like that.

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And so it really made me realize
that mental health was really

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where I wanted to be.

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So yeah.

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Yeah.

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So that's my advisor.

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Nicole filled in for
her, and she was somebody

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that I worked closely with.

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So thanks to them.

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Thank you.

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[APPLAUSE]

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